Tell About Your Std

How To Tell Your Future Partner You Have an STD

Dating is complicated enough, without adding a long-term sexual health condition into the mix. If you have an STD, it is essential that you disclose it to any potential sexual partners before you become intimate, so that they can make an informed decision about the associated risks.


The idea of disclosing such personal information may seem daunting at first, and it is very normal to be afraid of rejection as a result. But, although there are no guarantees, there are plenty of couples that have successfully negotiated the minefield of STDs, and gone on to have thriving, flourishing relationships, and there is no reason you can’t be among them.

Once you have decided to tell someone you are dating about your HIV status, how do you bring it up? It’s a hard topic to just drop into conversation unless that's someone you met using one of the available HIV dating apps on the market. You will probably need to be brave and tackle it head on. Before you open your discussion, make sure you have enough knowledge and information yourself to answer any questions your partner might have.

Here are some suggestions that might help your conversation go more smoothly:

• Approach your partner at a time when you are both relaxed and alone and in a non-sexually charged situation.

• Speak about it in a calm, matter of fact way, with as little drama or emotion as possible.

• Try to focus on the positives, and how you can overcome any challenges associated with your condition, rather than just presenting negatives.

• Role-playing with a supportive friend beforehand could help you refine your approach, and feel more confident about the discussion. Being prepared to answer difficult, or technical questions about the condition you have, will help.

• As much as possible, try to appear confident even if you don’t feel it. Your partner may take their cue from you, and if you treat it as a fact of life and no big deal, it could help them see it that way too.

• Give your partner some space and time to absorb the information rather than pressing them for an instant response. They might prefer to do some research themselves or consider the situation in their own time before discussing it further.

Although it may be awkward at first, once the conversation is out of the way you will probably feel a huge sense of relief. There will always be people who react negatively, but there are plenty of people out there who understand that STDs are just a part of life. By opening up and disclosing your status early on in the relationship, you can hopefully move past it, and enjoy a long and happy future together.

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